If there were a world record for least time spent trying to decide precisely why today is a fine day for a beer, this could have been it.
On this day in 1725, the true patron saint of Ireland, the man whose legacy is our nourishment on St. Patrick’s Day (and so many other days), Sir Arthur Guinness was born in Dublin. Or, so says that great purveyor of fact and myth, Wikipedia. This was to be the fine day that wrote itself. No other beer is so pervasive as a cultural symbol. And besides, Guinness is good for you.
Ah, but there’s a catch. The Peerage puts his birth date at March 12, 1725. Of course, there’s something fishy there, too: if they are to be trusted, then his son Arthur Guinness was also born on March 12 (1768). It’s not an impossible coincidence. The man had 10 children (with more than a little help from his wife, it should be noted). There are 365 days in a year. Arthur Guinness was apparently born on two of them. If the odds aren’t his favor, it’s not exactly a Nader-for-President (he’s running again, you know) level longshot that Guinness would share a birthday with one of his progeny.
Meanwhile, this Wikipedian notion that Arthur Guinness was born in Dublin is surely a fallacy. The official version of the story is that Guinness was born near Celbridge, in County Kildare – a short but significant 20 kilometers west of Dublin. There is ample corroboration of this (none of it reliable, mind you) from multiple sources on the World Wide Web of Truth.
What do we really know, then? We know that Arthur’s Round has been moved to the top of the Christmas list.
We know that Arthur Guinness was no Josef Bierbitzch, that’s for sure. He was, in fact, a real person. He did create a wonderful brew, a drink that is an emblem of Irish pride and national identity. Is today his birthday? Yes. No. Maybe. Oh well, whatever. Nevermind. Facts need not interfere – it’s still a fine day for a beer. Grab yourself a pint, blast your favorite 17 year-old CD at full volume, and rejoice.
